Despicable, homophobic me

29 May, 2011 By Pepper Lim

There are some things we cant change. And there are some, we can. Pepper Lim writes about how he overcame his own ignorance through Love and Acceptance.I grew up with a deep religious conviction and at the age of 12 sought to understand the different religions surrounding me. I finally chose Christianity as I thought it was the most suitable religion for me. At the age of 20, I received my degree in theological studies from a bible college in Australia. My anti-homosexual stance came from a mixture of the fear of my father that his sons would turn out to be sissies and biblical anti-gay scriptures. When were were children, my father would shout at my brother and I, "Stop giggling like girls!" and "Stop crying like a sissy!"The bible played the biggest role; offering the torments of hell and the lake of fire to homosexuals and other sexual perverts. I distanced myself from gays and lesbians and generally could not stand being in their company. It made me squirm inside to watch limp-wrist men and butch women. I have always enjoyed actor Kevin Klines performances but felt sick inside when he kissed Tom Selleck in "In & Out".I broke up with a girl because she confessed she kissed another girl while we were together. I thought I did the right Christian-thing. Today, I realise I was unbelievably self-righteous. I regret that and I am glad I managed to apologise to her many years later.Then, a video changed it all.While baby-sitting my friend Dr. Khairuddin Yusofs home when he was away, I helped myself to his video collection. One video had a scraggly looking cowboy on the cover, entitled "Southern Comfort". The first few minutes of the video gave me the impression it was a B-grade cowboy movie.By and by, it turned out to be a documentary on the life of a fema! le-to-ma le transsexual named Robert Eads. He was born a woman, married a man and gave birth to two children, later divorced and transformed into a man. His journey of self-actualisation was difficult, painful, confusing, but most of all, touching. Watching Roberts struggle to transform from a woman to man and being denied medical treatment by cowardly doctors were particularly painful. This documentary opened the doors of my mind and made me realise transsexuals is natural. It is not a fad nor a choice. It is not wrong nor immoral. It is what it is: natural. And I am glad I am OK with it now. This video also led me to the same realisation about homosexuality.Dr Khairuddin who has treated numerous trans-gender patients, opened my eyes further with his frank explanation into the psychology of such unfortunate people.A few years ago, I contacted my old pastor, Brian J. Baker. He inspired me to attend bible school. As it turns out, he has since left the church and was now living openly as a homosexual! I should have been appalled and sickened. Instead, I congratulated him and wished him well. He is gay and I am OK. He is now in his 70s and his lifes story of suppressing his true self was sad. He explained, in the 1960s people thought homosexuality was a mental illness and one cure was electrotherapy! To escape electroshock treatment, he did what society expected of him: he got married and had children, and lived a heterosexual life.I cannot imagine being unfortunate to be born with a mismatched body or with a mismatched brain. I cannot imagine struggling to conform to societys expectations. But I am glad to realise people should be left to be who they are instead of being dictated so.Today, my homosexual and transsexual friends find it surprising that I had such a homophobic past. I am happy to note that I am no different from them. I am very, very glad to be friends with them.Homophobia is by no means eradicated from society but there is now one less homophobic idiot: me. PS. R oberth Eads died of ovarian cancer at the age of 53 and was denied medical treatment by a dozen doctors who did not want to harm their practice. Idiots.This is written in conjunction with 29 WAYS: A Homophobia-Free Malaysia, to be launched on 29 May 2011.
Pepper Lim was once a very religious and anti-homosexual person who condemned homosexuals. Today he is thankful for the forgiveness from those whom he condemned. He has two beautiful young children and promises they will grow up to be whatever they want to be. He also has plans to make his parents proud.

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Tags: 29 Ways: A Homophobia-Free Malaysia, anti-homosexual, Bible, Bigotry, Brian J. Baker, Christianity, gay, hatred, Homosexuality, intolerance, Kevin Kline, Lesbian, Pepper Lim, Robert Eads, sissy, transsexual

This entry was posted on 29 May, 2011 at 4:00 pm and is filed under Let's Talk About Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

Today the non-Malays praise moderate PAS...

PAS, a political party in the Pakatan Rakyat coalition, is a shining example of moderate Islam.

PAS leaders continue to espouse their struggle to uphold the sanctity of Islam, as well as to protect Malaysians of all races regardless of their faiths. Refusing to be racially biased, which is wrong in Islam, PAS is regarded by many Malays with respect.

This poses a big headache for UMNO as PAS seems to be the opposite of what UMNO represents. PAS continues to fend off the unfair abuses hurled at the non-Muslims and non-Malays by UMNO, while holding on to their struggle for a just and caring Islamic state that does not discriminate against other religions.

PAS' extremist and fundamentalist tag so unfairly pinned on it by UMNO no longers frightens the nation. Instead, the non-Muslims and non-Malays see in PAS an umbrella, a champion for justice against the cruel oppression of UMNO. Today, PAS is the biggest stumbling block to UMNOs future plans, which are about to disintegrate.

Together with DAP and PKR, PAS will be a blessing for this country. If the Pakatan coalition goes on to rule this nation, PAS can count on its partners for support and advice and together they can govern Malaysia with wisdom and integrity.

Sadly, the Barisan Nasional has not learnt its lesson after its trouncing in the last GE. It has not acknowledged its mistakes, nor has it repe! nted. It is still a big bully, stubborn and deaf to the wishes of the people and it is still taking the people for granted. It is time to call their bluff.

After all, if Pakatan Rakyat misbehaves, Malaysians can still return the mandate to the BN in five years' time. Looking back to the last GE in 2008, BN managed to scrape through because of the non-Malay vote.

It will be interesting to see if Sabah and Sarawak will continue to support BN this time around. Unable to regain support from the non-Malay electorate, it will be up to the Bumiputras in East Malaysia to decide the BNs fate. A sad indictment on Prime Minister Najib Razak, who is also president of UMNO.

source: Malaysia Chronicle

Utusans worldview of the PAS polls

Pasai tulah UMNO dok gila talak kat PAS...

cheers.

Gay or Nay?

29 May, 2011 By Pang Khee Teik

Confession of an ex-homophobe: Nur Hidayah shares about her male friend who wears a skirt and her female friend who likes girls. In conjunction with International Day Against Homophobia, celebrated as "29 Ways: Toward a Homophobia-Free Malaysia" on 29 May.
I knew a boy once who would wear his religious school sampin as a skirt. We were 9 or 10, and every time we saw him in his sampin-skirt, we would laugh at him. We would laugh with and/or at him and we distanced ourselves from any semblance of friendship. None of us wanted to be openly friends with him as he was obviously on his way to become a full fledge pondan. I don?t think we intended to be cruel, we were taught a male should stay and act masculine, not prance around in a skirt! We thought that was expected of us. Let?s call him Child H.Our paths crossed again when we got older, and Child H has grown up to become Adolescent H ? and he has now become even more effeminate. His voice was always high pitched and he was always giggling. He appeared happy to be pondan-esque, which made me question - How can you be happy in that state?? But he was so so so funny and it was hard not to like him. We became acquainted through mutual friends. It was, for all intents and purposes, a superficial acquaintance ? I was not interested in knowing the person, just wanted to laugh with and/or at him. I was friendly, but wouldn?t consider him a friend.Adolescent H then became Young Adult H, still very happy, very gay and very girly. He goes by ?London? now, as he felt an undeniable kinship with Paris Hilton. And by this time, he was referred to as ?she?. I started college and left London with his/her antics behind.In college I bunked with what I thought was a Tom Boy. Boyish, but a girl nonetheless. Let?s name her Tommy. Tommy and I became fast friends, and she quickly became one of my bffs. Tommy was a lot of fun and so very lovable. How ! can we n ot love Tommy, who was always so caring, so understanding, always so selfless and with her booming laugh, would laugh at the silliest things?Tommy then started bringing girls back to our place and was openly free with her affections. My other heterosexual housemate and I were perplexed. But we liked Tommy! She can?t be gay! She?s a good person and a good friend! This was Tommy who would stay up all night when we?re sick to make sure we were alright. This was the Tommy that would rush all the way from Genting Highlands to Shah Alam because she didn?t want me stranded outside when I forgot to bring my house key. This was our Tommy who would check on her old parents numerous times a day. She was a better daughter than most of us could ever dream to become. This was our beloved Tommy! She can?t be heinously gay!!!But she was. By then I can?t choose to not call her a friend. We knew each other too well, and gay or nay, she?s still our friend Tommy, whom we really sayang. We realized one very important thing at this juncture:Your sexual preference doesn?t detract from the kind of person you are. If you are a good person, then you are a good person. If you?re an ass, then being gay or straight doesn?t make you any less of an ass. The question of morality, of what is perceived to be right or wrong, does not arise when it comes to preference. And preference is not a choice. No. Not a choice. It may not be right for you and me, but it is right for Tommy.That was when I grew up. And I was reminded of how shallow I treated London. I called London up and renewed our friendship. I found London to be the best of friends. She?s kind, considerate, an excellent listener, funny, wise, positive and so very brave. Even at the risk of alienating herself, she stood up for who she is. She taught me that you can lie to anyone, even God, but the biggest sin would be to lie to oneself.My life has become much more meaningful because of Tom! my and L ondon. I have never considered myself a homophobe in the literal sense, but I was conditioned by the society I was brought up in to be one. I am glad I became friends with Tommy and London when I did, when I was still unimpressed with society?s ideals. Their willingness to snub convention by openly being themselves was truly extraordinary. They paint the world in a less complicated color of gray, instead of the oft stark black or white. They have taught me to strive for honesty and truthfulness within myself, first and foremost ? and to admire it in others. I learnt to be more accepting and very slow to judge.Gay or nay, as long as you?re a decent human being, who cares?Hidayah is a true blue Libran. She is a Loyar by profession and 1/4 of The Sounders/Gohead Gostan. Shes messy but believes the mess she creates is constructive art and would not be able to function otherwise. Shes a perpetual pleasure seeker and an occasional truth finder with a somewhat warped sense of loyalty. She chose to support Man Utd when she was 13 because her fav band Take That consisted of Mancunians. She still supports Man Utd to this day.29 Ways: Toward a Homophobia-Free Malaysia will be held on Sun 29 May, 3pm, at The Annexe Gallery, 2nd Floor, Central Market Annexe (Behind Central Market), Kuala Lumpur.

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Tags: 29 Ways, gay, homophobe, homophobia, International Day Against Homophobia, Lesbian, LGBT, LGBT rights, Nur Hidayah, Seksualiti Merdeka, tomboys, transgender

This entry was posted on 29 May, 2011 at 12:00 pm and is filed under Let's Talk About Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

KOLEKSI LAWAK PAKATAN RABAK...

::DICEDOK DARI BLOG 1PELURU::

klik imej untuk membaca artikel...

KONDOM MILIK ANWAR DITEMUI!!<> NIK AZIZ NAK SYURGA KE NAK BIDADARI?!<> ANWAR DENGAN POMPUAN LAIN PLAK?!!<> MONYET PUN GELAKKAN ANWAR... HUAHAHA!!

Bapak Rasuah

Tuesday June 6, 2006

Ani: TNB got a raw deal. WHEN the Government decided to approve the request from Tenaga Nasional Bhd (TNB) to raise electricity tariffs, the plight of the national utility took centre-stage. Naturally, the knee-jerk reaction among consumers was not favourable. The 12% rise in tariffs appears to have re-ignited the debate on how good the going is for independent power producers (IPPs) at the cost of the national utilitys cashflow. The imbalance between the generation side of the business and that of transmission and distribution has put a strain on TNB. To understand the privatisation of the power generation sector, one needs to take a look back in history to understand that the countrys IPPs came about as a result of the Governments effort to address the issue of stable power supply after the landmark 1992 blackout. Lending a historical perspective to the issue of IPPs is former TNB executive chairman Tan Sri Ani Arope, who headed the national utility from 1990 to 1996. It was during his tenure that the first generation IPPs were created. StarBiz deputy news editor JAGDEV SINGH SIDHU has the story.

STARBIZ: What happened after the first major blackout in 1992?

Ani: TNB had plans in place to pump out more energy by building plants in Pasir Gudang and Paka. Financing was no problem and our credit standing was very high. We had the land acquired and were ready! to move in and plant up.

But we were told by the Economic Planning Unit (EPU) that it had its own plans. We cautioned EPU that if those plants, which would take two years to complete, were not built, Malaysia would get another major blackout. When you have a place with 250 engineers, it does not make sense to say (the blackout) is because of poor planning. But the EPU said it had its own plans and we were told to surrender the land.

Then it surfaced that it wanted to privatise the power plants. I am not anti-IPPs per se. It is good to have other players but it has to be done fairly. It has to be fair to the consumers, not just TNB, which is a conduit. TNB, because of the electricity hike, has been treated as the whipping boy. The focus should be on the consumers.

When the generous terms were given to the IPPs, all my other peers around the world asked what was happening. They said they would like to have a share in the IPPs. They said (the contracts to IPPs) were too darn generous. (The terms) were grossly one sided.

How was the Malaysian model of IPPs created?

Ask our previous Prime Minister.

How was the process of negotiations with IPPs conducted?

There was no negotiation. Absolutely none. Instead of talking directly with the IPPs, TNB was sitting down with the EPU. And we were harassed, humiliated and talked down every time we went there. After that, my team was disappointed. The EPU just gave us the terms and asked us to agree. I said no way I would.

What about the pricing and terms of the contracts?

It was all fixed up. (They said) this is the price, this is the capacity charge and this is the number of years. They said you just take it and I refused to sign the contracts. And then, I was put out to pasture.

Why did you disagree with the terms?

! It was g rossly unfair. At 16 sen per unit (kWh) and with the take or pay situation, actually it was 23 sen per unit. With 23 sen, plus transmission and distribution costs, TNB would have had to charge the consumer no less than 30 sen per unit. If mixed with TNBs cost, the cost would come down but that was at our expense because we were producing electricity at 8 sen a unit. We can deliver electricity at 17 sen per unit.

And then there is a capacity charge. Nobody produces excess electricity like Malaysia and it goes to waste because there are no batteries to store that power. TNB only needs a reserve of 15% to 20%.

TNB was producing electricity at 8 sen a unit. What should have been the right price for IPPs to sell to TNB?

Twelve sen. They could not beat our price as we had already amortised our assets. But for the new guys or even ourselves to come in then and (having) to meet interest charges and to make a small profit, it would cost 12 sen a unit.

This was what we told one IPP. The IPP agreed to it but the EPU said that unless the IPP raised its price, the contract would not be given to the IPP. So he got it for 14 sen per unit.

And then, there is the cost pass-through. If the price of fuel went up, the extra cost is passed through to us. And in other words, it is passed on to the consumer.

Under what terms would you have agreed to the IPPs being set up?

Have an independent buyer for the electricity and in one way, let TNB come in and bid for the plants. Get other people to come in. Get a commission to see (to) our needs and TNB can be one of the producers.

It is argued that the IPPs contracts are too lucrative but there are IPPs in other countries in Africa or Asia that have better terms.

There are IPPs charging 50 to 60 US cents per unit but they use diesel. Take our own situation and compare oranges with oranges. Then it is fair. Do whatever is fair.

How were you affected by the process of awarding the IPP contracts?

I felt sick. It was morally wrong and not fair. If it is legal and not fair, I will not do it. If it is fair and illegal, I still wont do it. It has to be legal and fair.

We work for the consumers, workers and shareholders. TNB is morally obligated to these three, but the consumers come first, otherwise we wont be around. It is then the workers and the shareholders.

When I said that, they said Dia ingat bapak dia-punya (He thinks this is his fathers company). This job is an amanah (trust). You are entrusted with this responsibility and you carry it out to the best of your ability. I do not want somebody to come and urinate on my grave. In the Malay culture, that is about the worst insult they can do to a man.

Do you think you did the right thing by not signing the agreements?

Absolutely.

How should a contract with the IPPs work?

In Australia, they call the IPPs and ask what is your price. They will pay the IPP that offers the best price. What they could have done is to throw the net wider and ask everybody (if they) are good, it would be awarded to them. But in our case, the contracts were ready-made and we were asked to sign.

What is your view on the impending renegotiation with the IPPs?

It has to be legal and fair. If we were to negotiate unfairly and illegally, the whole world will be looking at us and they will say dont sign anything with Malaysia because if things go against the country, the Government will void the agreement.

We have to look at this very carefully.

But what we can do now is to say, can we bring down the capacity charge. Anything above the 15% reserve margin, we will call for bids.

The second thing is that the IPPs would have by now paid up their whole capital investments in their plants and it is all gravy (or profit)! from no w. Could we not bring this down a bit? Instead of paying a small amount to (a special fund), why not increase the (payment) for future planting up? In that manner, we can control the price of electricity. Otherwise, its going to escalate.

Who in your opinion should get involved in the negotiations?The consumers should be there. For me, you should get a very independent body. Then, you can bring in TNB, the IPPs, the consumers and Energy Commission. But these bodies and consumers should not make a judgment.So, pray tell, who is subsidising whom?

Anwar - Umno amal ciri2 pemerintahan Firaun...

Anwar Ibrahim berkata sistem amalan pemerintahan Umno-Barisan Nasional (BN) kini kian menyimpang dari landasan Islam apabila cuba menghidupkan kembali ciri-ciri masyarakat Jahiliah yang menyamai corak pemerintah Firaun.

Katanya, ini kerana Umno-BN bukan sahaja membiarkan budaya fitnah berleluasa sebaliknya mempertahankan tindakan tersebut.

Fitnah bukan sahaja dibiar, tetapi dipertahankan. Ini sebahagian kita tidak percaya, bila fitnah dipertahankan, sistem itu rosak. (Ini) ciri masyarakat jahiliah," ujarnya.

Kita tidak kata sekarang ini (zaman) jahiliah tapi ada orang berilmu guna media pertahankan fitnah. Ini sistem apa? Ini bukan sistem Islam. Ini sistem yang kita tolak yang disebut berulang kali oleh ulama besar yang menyifatkan Islam bukan pada slogan, bukan pada Umno, kata Ketua Umum PKR itu di Markaz PAS Parit Pechah, Muar, semalam.

Anwar kini dihujani pelbagai fitnah yang dilemparkan oleh UMNO sejak 13 tahun lalu. Beliau dihambat dengan kes Liwat I dan II, paling terbaru beliau dikaitkan dengan video seks yang disebarkan oleh trio Datuk T. Bukan itu sahaja,malah isteri, anak dan cucu beliau juga turut terkena tempias gelora politik kotor UMNO ini.

Menurut Anwar, ciri-ciri pemerintahan Firaun tidak ubah seperti corak regim Umno apabila sanggup mengenepikan undang-undang dan berlagak seperti Tuhan.
Ada ciri Firaun. Firaun cakap kamu bicara apa yang aku mahu. Kamu mesti kata apa yang aku sebut. Hakim juga ik! ut Firau n, bukan undang-undang, polis juga ikut perintah Firaun. Ini ciri-ciri orang Umno.

Siapa yang jahat, bunuh orang, zalim pada orang, buat cerita lucah, fitnah orang, aibkan orang, kes bunuh tutup, rasuah tutup, bodohkan rakyat, (maka) saya kata siapa yang politik begini, pandikutty, katanya.

Justeru, Anwar berkata, beliau mahu mengetuai gerakan rakyat untuk menumpaskan riwayat Umno yang hanya terus-terusan memperbodoh Melayu dan umat Islam, sekian lama.

Kita lawan orang zalim, kita lawan sistem zalim. Memperbodohkan rakyat itu saya tolak dan tentang.

Bagaimana parti yang memerintah sanggup berbuat begini? Umno memperbodohkan umat. Media dipergunakan untuk menutup kesalahan Umno, semua yang dilaporan, kebaikan Umno, katanya.

Anwar berkata demikian dalam ceramah di hadapan kira-kira 2,500 orang dalam Ceramah Umum Pakatan Rakyat di Parit Pecah, Muar Johor malam tadi. Kedatangannya ke Johor kali ini disambut dengan beberapa trak Unit Simpanan Persekutuan atau FRU dan kawalan ketat puluhan anggota polis yang tiba seawal jam 7 malam lagi.

Namun ceramah kali ini mendapat kerjasama pihak polis yang mensyaratkan supaya program itu tidak menghalang lalu lintas kawasan ini. Turut hadir ialah Pesuruhjaya PAS Johor, Dato Dr Mahfodz Mohamed, Pengerusi PKR Johor, Dato Dr Chua Jui Meng, ADUN Sekinchan, Ng Suee Lim dan beberapa pemimpin Pakatan Rakyat.

source:tvs news

Anwar: Umno bukan pembela Melayu

Tak baik woii kata Umno tu Firaun...

cheers.